Broken road lead me home...

When my world comes crashing down on my head what should I do.? When my feelings won't stop breaking where should I hide them? When my heart hurts like hell and my mind can't make it stop should I sweep it under a rug and live on? It's just another sting just another bolder one of many in life... How do you deal with it will change the world around you. I know I chose to be here but sometimes I feel like i'm getting pushed around following the tidal waves and following my aching heart. My path to the future seems so dreery and the roads that i'm on seems so long. A break seems too far out of the question so I drag on and on. At this divide in the road I come to stare blankly as I usually do nothing seems so certain and my heart still.... Aches for you... Even at this distance... even as we stand I feel like there is a wall between us and I can't climb over nor brake it down. Why do you keep protecting yourself why do you push me away but surely you know what you do to me I think to my self.... But maybe you really don't know how much you pain me in this way. Word can not describe this weary fear I have inside but you don't seem to notice so i'll hide... So i'll hide. It's not really a secret when it's probably just me just falling into my self and drowning in my dreams. Ambitions and goals I set are running far from me and the wishes and the hopes for it are wounding deep with in. Nothing I can do isn't an answer... That I know but right now I really wanted to just feel something... Before it's gone. Slowly as a wildfire being dowsed away by man. My burning heart beats softer and it hurts as it goes out. Making it work will take effort but patience is fading quick. I need to be an adult about it but my selfish child in me returns. I try to listen harder to see if your heart beats for me. But everything is in your terms and following is all I can give. Your decisions are set to your needs and I understand from those shoes but in mine are little thorns still piercing through my soul. First is first I need to remedy this pain staked heart of mine. But what the fuck is the answer... What the hell will cure my doubts..... I don't know how it got planted there.... Ok maybe I do... But only extremely drastic measures will undo what has been done... But is that healthy.... Probably not. So now I stand at this divide wondering what is right and what is wrong should I leave my hopes behind because I am scared. Or should I take a step forward knowing that the possibily of needing to turn back and start again might be the future I am facing in the end? Unpredictable this life is... But regret? Not knowing what could have been or just walk forth this path that might turn into dust? Who knows... What will I do next.