Making a nightmare last a life time

Have you ever took a whole day off to analyze your self? I recently started to micro analyze my self to see what I could improve; but the more I looked at my self the more I realized that a lot of the things I do habitually is very cowardly and self conscious. I always knew in the back of my mind that I was self conscious but never knew to what degree. Everyday it's a reoccurring fight against my self to make my self loath my self a little less and to try to focus on real life problems. But sometimes I guess this problem defeats over all other problems. Then I come to the conclusion that I might need help... Yet even with me say this every time, reminding my self I need to find help has not actually gotten me any closer to finding help.... I know I just need to pick up the phone and call for help. It's as easy as that... but what is stopping me... why am I so scared? Is it what I'll find when I get there... or is it because I'm so used to being this way that I don't want to change? Or is it because I'm scared to expect the fact certain this are not under my control? I don't know it might be all of the above.... it's just too..... overwhelming to me right now. But soon maybe I'll put it to that mind to rest. Or at least learn to cope with it in a healthy way. Soon nightmare you will be a distance memory.