Learning to Love

So since the few weeks... (cough cough) I haven't posted on blogger I have been up to much activities such as moving and getting my self situated. Well I also learned quite a few things about my self that I wasn't ready to face till now. So in the past few months I had fallen out of love with the last relationship and that was due to poor judgment and much built up disappointment towards this guy. But I feel like some of the disappointment stems from the fact that I am actually quite disappointed in myself. I now feel like it's time to really learn to love the person I am for who I am. How will I do this. Well first off I think it's time to again try to get some medical help to help with my very random mood swings and I need to learn to stand on my own two feet. I thought for a while that leaning on someone would really help me learn to be a whole person. But working at half capacity doesn't ever seem to work.
Where I'm going to go look for my self that I do not know. But I know one thing that I need to start learning to be able to function more independently and more efficiently when doing so.
I know that this is going to be a time consuming journey but at the end of this trip I think everything will find it's place.
Another thing that has really motivated me to do so. Is because I fell for this person really hard. But I seem to have this negative swing when I start dating someone.... and this is all stemmed from self esteem issues. And in order for me to love with all 100% I feel as though I need to learn to love my self 100% then I won't be beating my self to the ground for every person or thing that I am around.
Well Blogger I am getting tired and need to get some rest but till next time.

P.S. Maybe that's what it means to love someone. It makes me want to be a better person. It makes me want to make my self be happy. So I can again be happy with them. They make my heartbeat faster.